Among the many many ways I am not ready... and among the long long list of things to do to truly consider myself "prepared" for my performances this week at the Smithsonian Folklife Festival... is a real standout: I'm stuck in double ID limbo.
Making the "switch" between persona and professor is a major transformation. Now, when I'm in true form - regularly open mic'ing, actively writing, and teaching - the transformation can take place in a dressing room. It's amazing what an afro will do for you if you really let it do the work!
But in my new role of "high powered almost all consuming diva manager", where there is always something for me to do or think about in relation to my job, the switch is much harder.
I am under-confident; my stomach is tight.
And dang it. I don't feel like a diva.
Though the stewardess did tell me I was beautiful. And that helped.
But, in common vernacular - I need to chill the frick out. In poet speak, I need to take a minute to ohm. Maybe I'll just quote myself...
with some appropriate paraphrasing...
time to remix sankofa
into the song of solomon
and fly myself home
this is a spiritual war
and i’m gon’ need to take a minute and ohm
before tying up my ashe
gathering my chi
and strapping on my redemption
all ancestors on deck
shake away the self-doubt
cleanse this aura and
wipe that plantation grin off my face
it's time. see you soon.
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